WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST LEAVE?

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that she may be holy and without blemish….husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25, 27-28

 

A friend’s Facebook post reminded me of my long-ago job as a county social worker helping victims of domestic violence. Rarely did one of these victims—mostly women—leave her partner; rarer still did she have money to hire an attorney. I often accompanied the woman to court, to face her batterer and his attorney. I was an advocate, not a legal representative, and I was raked over the coals in those courtrooms. One of the most frequent questions asked by the man’s attorney was, “If it was so bad, why didn’t she leave a long time ago?” The complex answer to that question was the subject of my friend’s Facebook post, written by a woman named Rachel Smith:

 

Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault…she’s no good to anyone…no one will want her or love her…there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own. She thinks that if she just tries harder…if she’s a better wife and a better mom maybe he will be happy with her and wouldn’t get so angry. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met. He has her convinced that if she leaves, he will hurt or kill her or her family. He has threatened to tell the judge she is a bad mom and she will lose her kids and never see them again. He has taken away her money and convinced her that she cannot make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

 

More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

They need your support. They need your love. They do not need your judgement.

 

Jesus, You said husbands and wives are to be subject to one another out of reverence to You. Help us end domestic violence throughout the world. Amen

 

OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THESE VICTIMS DID NOT ASK TO BE ABUSED. REMEMBER TOO THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A FAMILY DISEASE AND A SYSTEMIC PROBLEM IN OUR NATION AND IN OUR WORLD.

SMILEY FACES PAIN CHART

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4

 

Chronic pain is so…chronic. It is present, to some degree, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, year after year after year. And many types of chronic pain are invisible, so people—doctors, physical therapists, health care workers, counselors, and even close family and friends—tend to view those of us who suffer from chronic pain as malingerers. A friend of mine says she believes people with invisible chronic pain are not faking being sick; they are faking being well. I have severe, persistent, progressive osteoarthritis and I’ve tried for most of my adult life to act like I am not hurting. I have pushed myself every day to get as much done as I can so that I don’t feel like I am “less than” someone with no pain. But after ten orthopedic joint surgeries, it is getting harder and harder to “play well.”

 

Anyone who has persistent pain—including emotional pain—has been presented with the annoyingly clear Wong Baker Faces Pain Rating Scale of the increasingly distressed-looking smiley faces and asked, “How would you rate your pain/mood today?” And we all probably want to ask, “Which pain? What body part? If three parts hurt and three parts are pretty good today, does that cancel out the score I would give myself?” I’ve literally never been a “zero,” and I’ve been told that a “ten” means “call me an ambulance.” I can function with a score of “three” to “five,” but above that, things can go downhill (or uphill, depending on one’s perspective) rather quickly. A “nine” finds me curled in the fetal position in bed with the electric blanket turned up to nine (to match the pain rating). Given half a chance, I’d call that ambulance, if I thought it would help my pain.

 

Psalm 73:23 tells me that God “takes hold of (my) right hand and says to (me), Do not fear; I will help you.” When my pain is at its worst, I always have God. And His all-surpassing love is enough.

 

Healing Lord, hold me in my worst hours. Keep me in Your loving care until the storm has passed. Amen

 

Meg Blaine Corrigan tells stories of wisdom, strength, fear, joy and risk-taking. Daughter of a raging alcoholic mother, and survivor of sexual assault at gunpoint, Corrigan has shaken a dismal past and flung herself into the arms of Christ, Who sustains her in her daily walk of grace. She shares with her listeners her incredible story of surviving and thriving through many trials during her seven decades walking this fragile earth. She has been described as a Renaissance Woman, integrating her formal training in psychology and counseling, an enlightening experience as a percussionist for a Polynesian show troupe, and most recently as an inspirational author and blogger. Her exposure to many life experiences has enriched her passion for spreading Christ’s word and helping other trauma survivors. She has a Master’s Degree in Guidance and Counseling and thirty-plus years of experience in the field of counseling and social work.  She lives in Lake Elmo, Minnesota, with the love of her life, Patrick, and their formerly disenfranchised rescue dog Ginger. www.MegCorrigan.com    MegCorrigan@comcast.net

MY ROAD TO DAMASCUS

I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Philippians 3:8

 

The Apostle Paul could have been ashamed of the life he led before he met Christ. After Jesus’ miraculous deeds on earth, Paul stood on the sidelines and watched Jerusalem’s religious authorities stone Stephen, an avid follower of Christ (Acts 7:58). As a devout Jew, Paul believed Jesus was a fraud. He made it his mission to eradicate as many followers of Jesus’ way as he could. Acts 9:1 finds Paul “still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord.” But Jesus surprised him on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:3-9) and Paul was never the same. At first, many of Christ’s followers rejected Paul, not believing that he had indeed been converted. Eventually, Paul was able to convince other followers of Christ’s way of his own conversion, and he became one of the fiercest advocates for the advance of the early church. He travelled extensively, and eventually told the citizens of Philippi, “For (Christ’s) sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8).

 

Because of the dramatic way in which I came to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord, I have often compared myself to Paul. While I could never have been accused of “breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord” in my former life, I was quite jaded about the very existence of God. I grew up in a time when women were becoming “liberated,” and for me that meant no one was in charge of me! I had developed an attitude that I was the captain of my life, and whatever I chose to say, do or think was perfectly fine. The only problem was that I was never happy in that state of mind. When God literally sent a bolt of lightning down onto my “road to Damascus,” In love and mercy, God pursued me relentlessly until I finally reached the end of my very dismal existence and laid down my life for Him. I can say with Paul that my former life was “rubbish” compared to the joy and peace I now have every day, thanks to my living Lord.

 

Praise You, Lord, for redeeming me as Your child! Amen

 

Both candid and humorous, insightful and ponderous, Meg Blaine Corrigan’s memoir, Then I Am Strong: Moving From My Mother’s Daughter to God’s Child, takes the reader through her chaotic childhood with an alcoholic mother and enabling father to a violent assault that nearly ended her life. She populates her tale with vivid descriptions of her parents, other influential adults, the attacker, and her disastrous first marriage. But this story has a happy ending, when Meg finds solace in a God she didn’t think she’d ever believe in, when He gently helps her heal from her past lives and move into the best times of her life. Meg has also written a novel, Perils of a Polynesian Percussionist, about said first marriage, as well as a Christian devotional, Saints With Slingshots: Daily Devotions for the Slightly Tarnished But Perpetually Forgiven Christian, comprised of blogs from this site. Stay tuned for sequels to her last two books! All of her works may be purchased through her website, www.MegCorrigan.com or from www.amazon.com .

YOUR FEARLESS INNER CHILD

by Guest Writer Louise Griffith

He called a child, whom He put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2-3

 

As a grandmother, I’ve noticed how children tend to live freely and flow through life without many inhibitions. It is only when adults begin to impose their “stuff” on them that they limit themselves and start tiptoeing through life. Though we have to learn certain adult behaviors to get along in the world (sharing, for instance!), we tend to block our childhood selves completely and lose part of the freedom and flow we once enjoyed. It’s time to reclaim it….

 

Have you ever observed young children at play as they tap into their limitless imaginations? They often do or say whatever they want, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to adults. They pretend to be other people or animals or even objects (like a truck or a boat), and immerse themselves in the role completely.

 

Children are brave. The world is new to them, so they are constantly trying new things and testing limits. Every day brings new opportunities to learn and grow, and they often walk into the unknown, trusting that everything will work out just fine.

 

If only we, as adults, could capture some of the spontaneity and courage of a child! Too often, we grow cautious and fearful. We’ve been hurt or scolded so many times, it makes us tiptoe around others and holds us back from speaking our minds or doing what we really want to do. We stifle our natural flow—and sometimes our natural selves—in order to conform to expectations.

 

What if you let yourself be free?

 

What if you allowed yourself a little more space to truly be yourself and speak your truth? What if you tapped into your reserve of childlike courage and made the important life changes you know you need to make? A small dose of courage can make all the difference. It can help restore the you that’s been hiding away, too timid to come out. It can help you flow through your days like a river, instead of treading water in a narrow pool.

 

It’s time to embrace your inner child and welcome them back into your life.

 

Lord, You are our heavenly Father. Teach us to love You with abandon, as children love life. Amen

 

Learn more about Louise Griffith and her book, You Are Worth It, at www.oneshininglight.com , or email her at louise@oneshininglight.com .